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Shelly McNamara

Open Hearts. Open Minds. Build Connections That Heal the World.

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Blog

LGBTQ+ Life at One of the World’s Largest Corporations

March 12, 2021 By Shelly McNamara

This article originally appeared in the The Advocate in February 2021.

New years always bring hope. Fresh starts. New possibilities. Progress. Although the pain, fear, isolation, and uncertainty of the previous year have not disappeared and the virus remains virulent, signs of progress sit in view. We have a vaccine. Our democracy stayed strong and standing in the face of violence and destruction. We have in front of us the possibility for healing, progress, and unity.

Our humanity as a world and nation has been tested, and I am reflecting on the history of our LGBTQ+ community as a source of inspiration and insight for this moment. Our community has strengths most relevant now; our history has chapters of hope, healing, and progress. We know what it feels like to have our humanity tested, challenged, and even questioned. And in the face of that, we know how to progress forward. I reflect on some of my own history and my company’s history in the pursuit of LGBTQ+ equality. It is in the reflection and in the remembering that we remind ourselves what we already know — and we can use that insight to heal and propel ourselves forward.

In 1992, I accepted a role in the P&G world headquarters in Cincinnati, Ohio. This was a great career decision; it was also a personal decision that filled me with anxiety and uncertainty. I was terrified for the eventual moment when colleagues would learn that I didn’t move to Cincinnati alone, but with my then-partner (now wife) Cindy.

My fears were well-founded at the time, as the culture and world around us — the narrative we heard and absorbed into our beings — were very homophobic. Antigay rhetoric and bullying were commonplace in the early ‘90s (as still are in many places), and those of us who identified as LGBTQ+ struggled to find the peace and satisfaction that only emerge when you discover and experience a space to be yourself, a place to call home.

This only happens when you are seen, respected, and loved for who you are, not “in spite of” who you are. Back then, I doubted that I would ever find a place that felt like home. Back then, I never expected P&G to be the place and space that would provide me the support I needed to express and experience the fullness of my humanity.

Two months after Cindy and I arrived in Cincinnati, P&G added sexual orientation into the corporate nondiscrimination policy. It laid the foundation for changes that have now spanned almost three decades. At P&G, we have pursued LGBTQ+ equality in phases, in moments, and with key milestones worthy of celebrating. The hallmarks of progress have been many: the implementation of LGBTQ+ diversity training in the 1990s, same-sex partner benefits, transgender health benefits, parental leave equalization, public support of Pride, and marketing campaigns featuring LGBTQ+ individuals and themes. We acknowledge and celebrate the progress and the many individuals who drove that progress.

Change happened because we shared our personal stories, developed one-on-one relationships, and had the courage to be vulnerable. We pursued the benefits, policy, and culture changes that enabled more equality. We expressed the fullness of our humanity and expected to be supported and valued for that — not in spite of that.

Sharing our stories and our lives has built empathy, triggered conversations, and motivated progress. Our stories shine a light on the challenges and the joys. Our stories make us human and show our commonalities as humans. I recall the first time I shared my story at a P&G event — a story of rejection, redemption, healing, and the power of love. After the event, an employee told me that my story, shared publicly on that day, had saved the life of a person I didn’t know and may never meet; someone in the crowd of many who decided to choose life because my story gave them hope and helped them heal.

That happened a decade ago. Today, P&G has LGBTQ+ employee groups in 45 countries that serve more than 5,000 LGBTQ+ and ally employees. Today, we have lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer employees around the world who routinely share their stories as a way to both express their humanity and drive change. Through our storytelling, we have opened hearts and minds and shifted policy and cultures. Today, we do work within our walls and outside of our walls.

There is encouraging news around us: 93 percent of Fortune 500 companies have nondiscrimination policies that include sexual orientation; 91 percent have policies that include gender identity. A generation ago, companies were largely silent when it came to injustice and intolerance in our communities.

Today, we see companies stepping up to embrace and drive conversations on equality: racial and ethnic equality, gender equality, LGBTQ+ equality, and equality for those who are differently-abled. Corporations now see the connection, now understand that supporting employees is what unleashes their voices, their gifts, and their greatest work. The expansion of our humanity enables the expansion of our communities, companies, and countries.

Corporations have stepped up and stepped out to drive needed changes, and yet, there is more work to do. Most countries in the world do not have legal protections for LGBTQ+ people in the workplace. LGBTQ+ people often face hostility in our careers, and fear prevents many of us from bringing our whole selves to work. Fifty percent of us are closeted in the workplace, taking energy to hide who we are — energy we could be using to enhance our lives, organizations, and the world around us. More work to do. More progress to make.

In May of 2019, a new career chapter started for me. That once fearful, yet hopeful, twenty-something was appointed Chief Equality & Inclusion Officer at P&G. My journey, our journey, and the chapters of change I’ve driven with colleagues around the world prepared me to drive the broad platform of equality and inclusion across a corporation of 90,000 employees. I had built insights and courage that qualified me for a role — not “in spite of” my differences, but rather “because of” them. That journey prepared me for this role and this work. I found a home. A place that feels like home, a home that feels like family. I wish the same for you.

Shelly McNamara is the author of No Blanks, No Pauses and the Chief Equality & Inclusion Officer at Procter & Gamble.

Filed Under: Blog

Announcing No Blanks, No Pauses

January 19, 2021 By Shelly McNamara

Like many of you, I dedicate time each January to set my intentions for the coming year. I consider the impact I want to make. I clear away the things that have not served me, and keep the ones that do. I mark up my calendar with the dates I am most excited to celebrate.

One of the most important dates in my 2021 calendar is rapidly approaching: on February 2, my first book, No Blanks, No Pauses, officially launches. It’s the culmination of my personal lifelong dream.

At its core, No Blanks, No Pauses is about loving self and others; it’s about forging a path that makes the world a more respectful, loving, and inclusive place. In this book, I share my personal stories and poetry to encourage you to reflect on your own journey; to help you connect, learn, and heal, to enable you to become the best version of yourself.


In early November 2020, I opened the mail on a lazy Saturday to see my book in hardcover for the very first time. It was a dream come true!
I began writing this book many years ago. I wrote parts of it in high school and college, others as I entered the working world and made my career, still more through my marriage and raising my children. Whenever an important lesson helped me grow, I found a few moments to write it down, hoping that one day I could share it with others in a way, and in a time that was helpful to them.

I can’t think of a more fitting moment to send these messages out into the world—a more fitting moment to both challenge and help each of us to heal, connect, and love more expansively. I can’t think of a more important time to come together.

I hope you’ll celebrate on February 2 with me; you can find your copy of No Blanks, No Pauses here. I’ve openly shared my heart and insights with you, and I would love to hear the thoughts and stories it inspires in you.

It Is Time

It is time
To come together
To find the “we”
In the midst of
So much “I”

We Begin with Healing

Healing will require us to listen.
Healing will require us to learn.
Healing will require us to unlearn and release things that hold us back from each other.

Healing demands that we admit the role that fear and falsehoods play in our discord, in our narrative and about each other, particularly about “them” and “those people.”

Some of these messages have come from leaders, media, and social media. They have contributed to form powerful narratives in our heads that establish bias, prejudice, fear, and in some instances hate. All of these are replacements for real experiences. All of these are bad substitutions for relationships.

Unfounded fears and falsehoods can prompt people to behave and act in destructive ways.

It’s time to leave behind the labels, and connect as human beings. It’s time.

Labels

We limit with our labels

We assume who people are
And what they like to do

We overvalue the what
We undervalue the who

We miss the gifts
Given to each

We miss the purpose and path
Each came to pursue

What will it take
To meet, connect, and discover

Who you are
Who we are

Who we can be together?

We are more powerful together

Buy Now

Filed Under: Blog

You Have Been Chosen

October 17, 2018 By Shelly McNamara

It was Mother’s Day in the early evening when I learned about it. The conversation started like this: “Can I talk to you both? I want you to know how much I love you. I can’t imagine having any other parents. I just need to tell you something. Alexis has been bullying me. Her favorite thing to do is to walk up to a group of kids and talk badly about our family.

She demeans me because I have 2 moms. I don’t want you to feel bad … I just needed you to know.”

My heart sank – tears flowed. I was angry with that child – and I felt sorry for her. A girl once a friend to my daughter, now making her a target. This young girl’s “bullying” came out of the lack of parenting and love she had in her own home. Bullies feed off vulnerability. Our daughter was the target – but she underestimated the power of love.

I anticipated these situations and many years earlier I wrote…

You Have Been Chosen

The day will come
The moment will pass
When you will be called as different
In a way that says “Less”
Less than

We will be waiting
To step in
To give you the love
To remind you of the reason

That god made you special
Gave you two moms

He called you to teach
Love One Another
Not One
But All

You are the chosen teachers
We are the committed parents
Always there
To remind you

Why you have been chosen to lead

Deep Insight

Deep insight is rarely
Born out of privilege

It comes from
Experiencing the pain
Caused by others – or
The misgivings of life

Listen Closely
Listen intently
To the voices
Of those who cry out

They sit along the edges
Outside the circle
Of privilege

Deep insight they bring
How we can all
Be more human
More loving – more giving

Deep insight is rarely
Born out of privilege

Our daughter had gained the deep insight that is often only afforded and earned out of deep pain. She came out better, stronger, more loving, and more caring. She not only survived, but thrived.

My wish for the bullies? I hope that they learn to process their pain in more productive ways. I’m certain the pain they have is real and valid. I simply want them to stop “passing it along” to hurt others. Love expands. Labels limit.

Filed Under: Blog

Intro to Shelly

August 2, 2018 By Shelly McNamara

I recently sat down with my dear friend, Kelly Vanasse, to reflect on my writing and the journey that brought me to this moment. We took an unexpected trip down memory lane – reflecting on some of the most impactful events and people in my life…

I invite you to watch this clip where I describe a special memory of my amazing mother who raised me and my 13 siblings in Lakewood, Ohio.

Filed Under: Blog

Writing & Realizing a Life-Long Dream

July 28, 2018 By Shelly McNamara

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been writing. I have more than 35 years worth of writings, including “poetic stories” as named by my dear friend Tamara Thomas. They look like poems and read like stories. I write about all that makes us human: loss, rejection, regret, healing, and deep love. One of my life-long dreams has been to publicly share my writing.

I’m so thrilled to say that – after many years of planning, some apprehension, and a whole lot of passion – I’m now doing this! I just launched a new website at www.shellymcnamara.com.

A big part of who I am is a storyteller. I also have the privilege and platform of working as an HR executive at a great company. My motivation is to open hearts and minds through storytelling. My stories are personal to me and my life, but the lessons are universal.

We have people all around us who have been made to feel “less than.” I believe we have an obligation as leaders to reach out to them. To value, respect, and include.

It begins with understanding. When people sit along the edges, we miss the gifts of wisdom and insight they offer. We miss relationships. We miss the opportunity to connect as human beings. We miss the impact they can have on our organizations and communities.

We rely on our diversity to drive innovation. The emotion of “empathy” is a precursor to all innovation, as well as the bridge to true relationships.

I welcome you, my friends and colleagues, to read more on my website and share your feedback with me. And if you feel so inspired, I would love for you to follow me and share my writings on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

I’m on a journey to open hearts and minds, and I’d love for you to join me on that journey.

Filed Under: Blog

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All content has been developed by Shelly McNamara in her personal capacity and not on behalf of her employer, The Procter & Gamble Company (“P&G”). Any views or opinions are personal and belong solely to her, unless explicitly stated otherwise. To the extent that this site uses or publishes information relating to P&G’s business, Shelly has obtained the appropriate approvals to do so in accordance with P&G policy.