It was Mother’s Day in the early evening when I learned about it. The conversation started like this: “Can I talk to you both? I want you to know how much I love you. I can’t imagine having any other parents. I just need to tell you something. Alexis has been bullying me. Her favorite thing to do is to walk up to a group of kids and talk badly about our family.
She demeans me because I have 2 moms. I don’t want you to feel bad … I just needed you to know.”
My heart sank – tears flowed. I was angry with that child – and I felt sorry for her. A girl once a friend to my daughter, now making her a target. This young girl’s “bullying” came out of the lack of parenting and love she had in her own home. Bullies feed off vulnerability. Our daughter was the target – but she underestimated the power of love.
I anticipated these situations and many years earlier I wrote…
You Have Been Chosen
The day will come
The moment will pass
When you will be called as different
In a way that says “Less”
Less than
We will be waiting
To step in
To give you the love
To remind you of the reason
That god made you special
Gave you two moms
He called you to teach
Love One Another
Not One
But All
You are the chosen teachers
We are the committed parents
Always there
To remind you
Why you have been chosen to lead
Deep Insight
Deep insight is rarely
Born out of privilege
It comes from
Experiencing the pain
Caused by others – or
The misgivings of life
Listen Closely
Listen intently
To the voices
Of those who cry out
They sit along the edges
Outside the circle
Of privilege
Deep insight they bring
How we can all
Be more human
More loving – more giving
Deep insight is rarely
Born out of privilege
Our daughter had gained the deep insight that is often only afforded and earned out of deep pain. She came out better, stronger, more loving, and more caring. She not only survived, but thrived.
My wish for the bullies? I hope that they learn to process their pain in more productive ways. I’m certain the pain they have is real and valid. I simply want them to stop “passing it along” to hurt others. Love expands. Labels limit.
