Shelly McNamara

Open Hearts. Open Minds. Build Connections That Heal the World.

Level Set

No Blanks, No Pauses

By

We don’t usually get the privilege
Of a title or label that includes and embraces us

We get the pause and the blanks
This is Cindy and __, ___ uhhh Shelly
It’s the kind of pause that forces the listener to wonder
Who I am and how I fit in

The truth usually settles in as they see me with my partner and kids
That all changed one rainy day in May

Sweet, loving, 86 year old Alice Marsland introduced me to a neighbor
“This is my daughter-in-law Shelly”
No blanks — No pauses

Only love and genuine acknowledgement
Of who I was to her

No blanks — no pauses

Blinded

By

What will it take for you to
See me as I am

To see the gifts I have been given
Just as you and yours

We miss each other
We walk past
We overlook

We never see
What each of us really has or is

Blinded by our notion of
What or who we should be

They Crossed The Line

By

I watched this exercise unfold on the TV screen, and then experienced it firsthand. It was intense, and deeply moving.  The facilitator read each statement aloud, pausing after each to allow those who identified with the statement — to step forward. “If you have ever been called_____. Take a step forward”.

We all stood on the same line at the start, but the “questions of pain” separated those who had been targeted, from those who had been protected.  I felt my own personal pain deeply – the labels and lies that had been thrown my way over the years.  I felt the pain of others, in and outside of the room that I know suffered greatly.  I could see and feel the circle and cycle of pain we have all created – perpetuated – or enabled through our silence. I decided in that moment – it was time for that pain to end. I don’t want my children, or yours to “cross the line” ever again.

They crossed the line
One by one
“If you’ve ever been made fun of for being
Black – Overweight – Asian – or,
Gay

Cross the line
If you’ve ever been called a
Fag – Tomboy – or,
the “Promiscuous Girl”

Cross the line

If you’ve ever been called a “Sissy” or soft for
Crying – showing your feelings –
or showing you care

Cross the line
Cross the line of pain

The line we all created

The place we taught our children to go
And send others

To dump their feelings of fear and self doubt

We created the world and line of bigotry
How can we erase it?

Level Set

By

We are taught to see things and people
As better than and less than

Why not “different than?”

We have this need to level up and down
I win – you lose
You win – I lose
One up – one down
Always

Why not “level set?”
Grant you space to be you
And I get to be me

We no longer need
To make one better than
To make one “less than”

What will it take to “level set?”
To see each other as different
But equally magnificent

Labels

By

We limit with our labels

We assume who people are
And what they like to do

We overvalue the what
We undervalue the who

We miss the gifts
That God gave to each

We miss the purpose and path
Each came to pursue

What will it take
To meet, connect, and discover

Who you are
Who we are

Who we can be together